Graham

Graham is a 34 year old man working as a network engineer and living with his partner.

Graham discussed loneliness in relation to being autistic. He says that, in comparison to his non-autistic friends, it’s difficult for him to build friendships or communicate at a deeper level. As a child and teenager, he was bullied in mainstream school. He had few close friends and this made feelings of loneliness, isolation and being an outsider even worse. He feels that non-autistic people do not manage to truly understand or empathise with the experience of autistic people.

Epilepsy has added another layer of loneliness to his life as it places limits on his social life. More specifically, the ever-present threat of having a seizure in public often leads to social isolation. The seizures in themselves are very isolating experiences according to Graham. He vividly described being objectified while having seizures and being reduced to an object of curiosity and ridicule while strangers were taking unauthorised pictures of him. For Graham, having epilepsy is also tied to fears of being a burden and being abandoned.

Graham discussed the negative stereotypes attached to people that might be experiencing loneliness (i.e. less likable, more weak) and says that stigma is a barrier to escaping loneliness and asking for support.

Graham does lots of activities and hobbies that help reduce loneliness.

Counselling helped Graham fight off loneliness.

Graham thinks Princess Diana was lonely.

Graham says social media can disconnect people from meaningful face-to-face relationships.

Graham says a lack of physical contact led to loneliness during lockdown.